I’m back… It has been far too long, filled with days of thinking "I really need to post my quiet times again!" but not…but feeling the ramifications of not posting everyday… So today I’ve decided to make it a priority to get back to this, so it helps with my heart & mindset for the rest of the day. (Pls note: for some reason, the carriage returns are somehow not getting recognized in my process, so I had to place a "period" to help the website recognize the return).

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It wasn’t until I started going to therapy that I began to understand that I’ve set the bar too high for others for pretty much my entire life. Yes, I’ve heard it several times throughout, but it never really got any traction until I started to get help.

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I can sit here & theorize how this got started, but unless it helps to overcome the issue, it doesn’t really matter at the moment. This post will be about the realization of this issue, and the daily hurdles it brings.

I’ve been critical for most of my life, easily finding the shortcomings in others, all the while learning that this criticality hinders my walk w God, distracting me from God’s purpose for my life.

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To sit here and say "I judge because I’ve been judged" is a possible answer but is more an excuse. In the end, it’s merely an attempt to make us feel better about ourselves. I also learned that I can become critical when don’t do what I ask, or do it at a sub-par level (in my eyes) - my expectation isn’t met. Even the notion that "my life isn’t the way that I want it to be" leads to hiding this frustration by finding fault in others.

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But we all know that finding fault in others is one of the easiest things to do… How many times have I been told "Do not judge or you too will be judged" [Matthew 7:1]? And you can’t argue with that… I know this, but telling someone like me, this, is like expecting me to run a 3min mile just because I run occasionally. I’m not saying that I’m copping out… but it just seems like you’re telling me about the "finish line" but not telling me how to get there. But this type of response is usually met with "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." [Matthew 7:2] Again, can’t argue with it, but another request to "jump the Grand Canyon" that is my struggle.

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The one thing that helped me with "getting to that finish line" was, of course, prayer, but also investigative work on my side. Unfortunately, I am the type of person who needs to know the "why’s"… the "in’s & out’s" of something so I can begin to tackle it. The concept of "stop it" never really worked for me… It never answered the "why?" Yes, in a monochromatic world, this works… but most of us don’t live in there, as wonderful as that could be. My imperfections struggle with the why’s of "what about this…" and "well then there’s that…." I’ve been told that this is a lack of faith, that I don’t put enough trust into God… and that could possibly be true, but again… how do I get there? I know that I’m imperfect - all of us are. One may even argue that all of the (above-mentioned) help is another form of judgement, but is also incredibly counter-productive, so we have to put that to rest immediately. I don’t want to be judged by the Lord, if I can help it… And yet, God sent His only son to pay for my sins (and yours). He took my judgement upon Himself, and died in my place. And in it’s place, God’s given me forgiveness and blessings…. peace, joy & hope (provided we acknowledge what Jesus has doe & taken Him on as our Savior). Remembering the judgement I truly deserve from God, helps to not judge others.

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One thing that helps (but I have to remind myself consistently) is to remember to receive God’s grace. By doing so, it helps me to show grace towards during my difficult times. Whenever you feel the urge to cast judgement, take a moment and thank Jesus for what He’’s done for you already - died for your sins, and giving you a second chance at life. I know for me, finding a way to "interrupt my normal process with God" not only helps with the immediate issue, but also opens up the opportunity for us to begin to learn why we suffer from such an issue. Instead of you "vocalizing" your frustration, begin to replace it with "listening" for help and a possible answer to the problem. But this also isn’t enough - time consistently spent in His Word must be part of the foundation of our relationship w\God.

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There is no "one-answer" (outside of God) for any our issues, but I do hope that this helps, if thinking process sounds familiar. There’s nothing wrong in "needing steps" or for this to be "drawn out in crayon" for you… In the end,

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