I'm not a deep thinker - I just over-think. These posts will probably never contain some incredible, existential information that will blow minds (or souls for that matter) away. And that's because, that's really not my goal. My theory is, how can we build ourselves, if we have a weak foundation? I mean, it can be done, but anything built will probably collapse upon itself. For me, to remain active & alive, I need to constantly remind myself of God's blessings throughout my day-to-day. That's why they're usually about "normal things" that we may fight on an occasional basis. and not so much people, or theories/concepts.

So if these posts (altho helpful, so I'm told) seem a bit remedial, it's because I've never gotten past anger, or sin, or jealousy... I still beef with friends... But I hate these cycles so much, that I want them to change. I want to struggle with "bigger" things, rather than insecurities (my own or anyone else's), or the like.

That's why I've felt the need to study out why we must fight for God. Whether it's our anxieties, ourselves, or the devil, we are God's soldiers, and there is no "off duty". So I hope that you continue to enjoy these posts.

Today's post is about fighting as God's disciples.

We are soldiers, and we are most definitely in a war.

I don't know about you, but I don't feel as if I handle conflict well. I've gotten better... but I still have a ways to go. So what is it that we can do to help us handle conflict in a way that pleases God?

This is the first thing that we need to do with any conflict - Problem is, when agitated, "self-reflection" is a difficult thing! But think about it, even if you've been "wronged", what does your "emotional response" say about your heart? Is there wrath or bitterness? Your reactions to conflict are great indicators as to if there's an even bigger issue with your heart, than with the other party.

This is one of my more recent "self discoveries" - I'm a pro at taking things personally. And it has done nothing but harm in my life. In the end, what's important - the fact that there's some issue at the moment with someone, or the "hurt" that you're feeling because of it? Sometimes, you simply need to let things go... because your friendship's worth more than your emotional response... because the other party is upset with you for some reason (think about it - "people who are hurt, hurt other people"). There are times to talk, but there is always time to listen. And learning to not sweat the small(er) stuff is a start.

There are times when I know to "keep things to myself" - late at night, when I'm tired or hungry, ... In those moments, I lack grace & understanding. My problem is, when I want to remediate a situation, my desire is to not waste time - let's get this down right now. I've had to learn patience in dealing with people who needed "time" before we could address the issue. So waiting 24hrs is a good thing, but waiting endlessly is no good - so keep your word. If you say, "Let's talk tomorrow"", make sure that you do.

I've noticed that people's nature is to talk, but not to listen. And when they listen, they only use it to collect information to use in their rebuttal. I'm guilty of this. That's why I put the "Be A Smarter Fighter" section before this one. Our communication problem is the result of "hearing" but not "listening". When you are able to pull yourself from this "issue equation", you are better equipped to live out Philippians 2:3-4:

When we're able to get past the "rule" where "we need to win every argument, vindicating ourselves, we can finally focus on what helps the other person & the relationship. What's really important: Protecting yourself in an argument, or protecting each other's heart from sin?

This one's been a tough one for me - Knowing that God has a purpose for our "broken" relationships, should be seen as hope. (I get stuck on the "why" but that's just me...) When you can get past the "current stress of the relationship", it makes the difficult relationship not only easier, but adds a higher perspective: God wants you in this relationship, and intends to do something beautiful with the "conflict".

When you lace your words with grace, it will change the direction & the tone of what you say. One can avoid being "sarcastic" or "condescending" because that type of talk (even if it's true) only tears down & does not build up.

Forgiveness is a conscience choice to put the offense away, even if the other person sincerely apologizes. (This was impossible for me until I was able to Stop Taking It Personally)

Sometimes, we confuse "reconcile" with "forgiveness" - Reconciliation requires two people, where forgiveness only needs one. For our own salvation, don't wait for the other person to repent before you forgive.