I had a great but yet busy day off yesterday. With the Thanksgiving holiday approaching, the fact that I really haven't had a vacation in years, and that my job is looking at laying me off soon, I took off extra time before & after Thanksgiving this year, to make more time for "me". So I spent the Monday after Thanksgiving, reflecting on all that God has done for me, moving slow, and hitting the gym - all before 12pm. No need to rush.

But in the AM, I got a text from a good friend, who wanted to do lunch. Perfect! He agreed to meet up at a restaurant near me, he chose a restaurant that was literally across the street from my gym, and we had a good time catching up!

Yes, it was a little awkward (for me, it was anyway) because this friend belonged to a church that I chose to stop going to 4mths ago. And with him being a guy, he really didn't follow up with me when i made that decision (no worries, people aren't responsible for anyone else, besides themselves & their kids... i don't hold that against anyone). We spoke about life, family, and even his church... And we simply had a great time.

When I got home, I wanted to casually get some things done around the house - the most important was balance out my checkbook. But a 2 or 3hrs after I got home from lunch, I got a call from another friend, where she went into this rather long schpeal about her car, how someone who had helped her last, couldn't help her anymore (for understandable reasons), and needed help. Of course i said "yes" and then prepared to do a last minute brake job... in the dark... and the rain.

She, too, was a friend but also a member of the same church. She's a great kid, and i really couldn't say "no". How often did I need help with a number of things, and people have been there for me? People who did or didn't love God? Whether that moment did or didn't screw up their itinerary? All that mattered was the friend in need. (In the end, it paid off well, because, it hosed up my schedule so badly that I didn't have time to cook, so we ended up getting this incredible chicken pesto pizza!! [don't worry, i paid - i didn't want anything from my friend for anything I had done to help her.])

But unlike the lunch I had with my friend, the conversation at dinner wasn't awkward - she knew from the somewhat beginning that I had left (altho not why, because she was indirectly involved and i don't think that she could keep it from taking it personally). We laughed and joked about many things, enjoyed great food and even better company! There were enjoyable moments, but also real ones as well. It was nice to have all of that, and yet for no one to get offended or uncomfortable - In the end, we respected the other person's opinion and left it at that.

I shared with her how I felt overwhelming frustration at the church, but because I loved God more, I needed to step away from that church before I lost both. I shared a "reminder" with her that happened 2 days prior. God is an amazing God and often (and subtle-y)(and sometimes, not to subtle-y) reminds us that He's in control, protecting us, correcting us, ... To sum up, I left $16 dollars on top of my car, walked into a movie theater, only to be early, and realizing that I left my gum in my car, walked back out, only to find my money, sitting atop my car. Not "taken", and most certainly not blown away... It wasn't a bank-breaking amount but it was most certainly God!

I may have found another church, where I worship my Father, but I have not left my God. Yes, one could say that if I had stronger faith, I should've stayed and ignored the frustration... ummm, no! If you have read my previous posts, especially the ones from the past year or so, I've tried to improve the situation only for them to remain the same. If I had stated, i would've said or done something that I would've regretted. And for me, for where I was in that part of my life, I needed to remove myself from that place in order to find myself again with God.

In the end, what's most important to you in your life? And what are you willing to do in order to keep it?

Although my life is a bit quieter now, it's happier, and I need that right now. I don't dread my sundays, walking into a building where I think that I'm not wanted or disliked. I don't hate anyone - I pray for my family, my friends, but also the people who are involved with my frustration. These are people that God has put into my life to teach me something about myself.