I've been on vacation from work for the past week, but I feel like my quiet times & blogging have suffered. I don't understand it - I have even more time for Him, and he ends up getting less. So when I woke up this morning & realized this, I was thankful.

Thankful because...

I feel that even my prayers to Him have suffered. I remember struggling with so many things, things I had no control over... things where I needed to "understand why they happened"... things that would keep me awake at night at times... My quiet & prayer times were strong then!

But now, everything is good! I'm content and appreciating Him & the people around me. I want to enjoy as much quality time as possible, and not lose a second to drama or rebuking. And although my heart is still confused, He is still in charge, and I know that He will guide me to where He wants me to go - to that place & person that he has designed specifically for me.

Psalm 121:4 says that God never slumbers or sleeps. I am humbled by this scripture after realizing how I can fall asleep in my devotion to Him. And He doesn't hold it against me when I come back - he welcomes me with open arms. But I never want to take advantage of His grace & forgiveness. I never want to think "it's ok... He'll forgive me after this break/mistake that I know that I'm making".

Our God is not a "break in case of emergency" type of god. He is the most amazing person we could ever know, and he wants us to know Him! He has loved & watched over us before we even understood whom He was. He is so great that there is no way to pay Him back, but He doesn't care about that. He wants us to love Him because He loves us, because He provides for all our needs, because he knows what's best for each & every one of us.

We will fail, and we will continue to "take vacations from God" (No, not an excuse). But remember that we are human, let's not waste time on how "don't deserve his forgiveness or love" because of our mistakes, and simply have a heart of gratitude for him being the God that He is.