I over-think. It's a blessing but it can be a curse. I know that it's a sin to over-think - I can get stuck on a topic and just stay there... It even has brought me to the point where I allow myself to rob myself of my happiness. (It's something that I've been working on...) To worry so much is a lack of faith in God & His Plan. To worry is selfishness. And to rob oneself of the happiness that God gives you... not good.

But for me, the truth sets me free.

I've been struggling with a situation where a friend I value, started giving me the cold shoulder. Conversations died down to close-to-nothing, texts were quick responses, and the looks... yah, nawh guhd!! My problem is, when I approached them about it, all i get is "nope. were fine". That drove me crazy. I was stuck with the facts not adding up... And because this was a very important person to me, this only drove my confusion into the stratosphere. This has been an extremely difficult 3wks in quite some time.

So i approached them again recently, asking them if we could talk... and their response was a pleasant change - "yes but i'd like to do it with a 3rd party." Now, normally, this is a bad thing (3rd party?!?!?) but I was ok with it because at least it's the start to addressing whatever happened.

And now that this "happened", my mind finally got the break that it needed from the start. (yes, i know - "this would've happened eventually..." [well, hopefully]... "all you needed to do was be patient..." I told you that i'm working on this...) Although my concern, respect & love for my friend hasn't changed, it's as if a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders. Yesterday was the first day in a long time where I had a "normal day". Last night was quite possibly the best night's sleep I had in the past 3wks. I woke up, finding myself welcoming the day, instead of dreading it.

I am a slave to my head & heart - this is obvious (and most of the time, it's not a great thing). The world has programmed us to place a very high value on our own desires & emotions. How the world has taught us to "listen our heart!" and "Do what feels right to you!". My heart & head was so focused on my friend, the hurt that they're processing, that fact that our friendship was not as positive to them as it is to me...

And yet God gives us different directions when it comes to our emotions & thoughts

and

I remember telling someone that I think with my heart because of John Hughes' movies:

This over-developed sense of teen -angst that did not need to be, could not be bridled... yah, nawh guhd!! And all it does it lead to more frustration & confusion... We end up being servants to ourselves, and not God.

I've been "stuck" in my thoughts & feelings re: my friend for 3wks... this inability to simply "accept" that something can be wrong despite their inability to admit it, kept me in a holding pattern where I was simply a

"ghost" to the people around me.

I constantly reminded myself that God has a plan, and that this will all work out, and that our friendship will return stronger than ever... But it wasn't enough to stop my heart. I could not receive the "whole counsel of God" (Acts 20:27)... my heart distorted the truth to what it wanted.

I've learned a lot from God over the past 3wks, and probably have much more to learn when I sit down with my friend and our mediator. The thing with me is simply "believing" what the Bible is telling me. As difficult as it might be, during difficult times, we need to ask ourselves this question: "Did God say it?" If the answer's yes, then we really need to ask ourselves, "Can God lie?" Sometimes we need to ask ourselves these two direct questions because it can cut through the emotional fog like nothing else can.

How often do we try to "tailor-fit" God's Truth with our own emotions or preferences? But the honest truth to it is, when we do that, we are placing our own opinions & thoughts higher than God's. It's as if God's Word doesn't matter, when compared to what we say. But we all know that, when our feelings don't match up with God's Word, then the fault lies with us, and not Him.

Times get tough, and the longer it lasts, the more susceptible we can be to our thoughts & emotions. We can say that we reinforce ourselves with scripture, but in the end, the truth comes out. How easy is it to "talk ourselves" out of the truth of God's Word? We may not say "God doesn't care!!" but our hearts may think it.

But when we've gotten off the "drama bus," we remember that God does care our our painful experiences & struggle. And that, it always turns out alright in the end. We remember that we work best when we receive His truth, and not run away from it, because it leads to clarity... and victory.