For me, one of the biggest obstacles I had to learn to overcome was "giving up". I've given up on friends, my father for 10yrs... even God, so nothing in my life even seemed permanent.

I struggle with conflict because it all falls back upon some internal anger that I've carried throughout my life. And without the therapy that God has lovingly given me, I had no way of "seeing" potential issues on the horizon, much less a way of processing what had happened. I have brought to life the following scripture too often:

	At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other,
	Matthew 24:10

But on a happier note, a while ago, I've come to the conclusion that I cannot/will not imagine my life without God or this church. There isn't anything that anyone can do where I would ever entertain this morbid thought of leaving. And although I've struggled with an internal process handling that has made "wanting to stay in relationships" difficult at times, I am stronger than that. Flare-ups, people, "bad moments"... It's all temporary as it is inevitable. But in the end, we are family, and we bounce back. The "healthy option" is available to all - we just need to fight in getting to it.

And for a while, I've been grateful for God, and my heart has remained soft where it has been free from the "i don't belong here" mentality... until recently. (Man, the devil is great at what he does!) Currently, God is teaching me about forgiving others and learning to forget. I am overwhelmed with thought & emotion of recent occurrences, and I am internalizing this a bit much. How do I move on with these people, after what's happened? On how it will happen again? On how, maybe these relationships aren't the healthiest to begin with?

Upon driving back from the gym, I was listening to a song from Mercy Me and the lyrics felt as if they were singing about my heart at the moment...

"It's easy to sing when there's nothing to bring me down,

but what will I say when I'm held to the flame?"

"They say it only takes a little faith to move a mountain

Well good thing a little faith is all I have, right now

But God, when You choose to leave mountains unmovable

Oh give me the strength to be able to sing"

I am so tired of quitting, especially on God. I am tired of succumbing to how the world does\handles things. The devil beats us down with how easy or "righteous" it is & what it has to offer, we can grow tired. And if we're not truly in line with God, if we're struggling with what He is trying to teach us, then we can feel

alone".

Although it's tough to "see" this during the tough times, there is a great reward for those who stand with God - a reward given not only in the moment, but for all of eternity. But quitting is not an option, because God does not let anything happen that you can't handle. And as cliche as this may seem at times, we need to realign ourselves with it so we can get thru the storm.

God is relentless in His faithfulness in us - How can we give up on Him? Not only is he always there, but He is there to help us (not only) finish, but finish strong! So take a moment, to stop, take a deep breathe, and take heart! Pray out to God that you are struggling, but how you will not\can not do this without Him. Face the storm in your life, and yell back at it, "DO YOUR WORST!" because you have God!