I feel as if we live in a world where it’s difficult to find people who truly love or care about you. I feel as if we live in a world where people say one thing to your face but the complete opposite when you leave. And it’s "ok"… OK because they probably do it due to their insecurities, their experiences, their issues, …. whatever. It’s ok because I’m guilty of it… I used to be a master of this, but what’s even worse, I still do this to myself. I do things to myself where, if someone were to even hint any of these words to my son, fist would definitely fly. (Lets keep it real here…)

I look around and see failed relationships, fake friendships, and it has an effect on me. I end up fanning the flames of:

Now, don’t get me wrong - I know that these things are not true. And in my experience, they’re usually the exact opposite. But I find myself stuck in this "mode" and I don’t know what to do. Outside of my therapist, there isn’t point in sharing this with anyone because they wouldn’t have the first clue on what to do I’ve learned that this topic is usually overwhelming, and simply makes matters worse in my own head.

But I’ve also spent some time, getting to know others who struggle with the same problem… the act of being stuck in the mud of "not enough". We are hard on ourselves, quick to point out an accusing finger towards ourselves, and may even believe that our condemning thoughts have something to do with God. (Sad but true).

So, what do we do when these low tones of self-condemnation turn into deafening blares? What do we do when comparison sneaks in suddenly, and we find ourselves wishing we were someone or something that we’re not? What do we do when we don’t feel "good enough"?

One thing that I’ve learned to to realize that I’m over-analyzing, over-thinking. And when you can do that, you can have a bit more control over your head & heart. You can look at each "comment" and begin to understand how overly exaggerated it is, or how false it is. Just because you’re serving yourself a plate of crap, doesn’t mean that you have to eat it. Another helpful thing is the truth that God’s Holy Spirit convicts - it is not our job nor place to convict ourselves.

Godly Conviction is when God convicts, He gets specific about our sin. "You were wrong to not forgive that brother when they asked for it". God uses specific scriptures, and His kindness leads us to a hopeful conclusion of not only repentance, but also dependence.

Self-Conviction is wide-ranging, like a shotgun blast. It’s also vague, condemning and defeatist. "Conviction from the enemy" also falls into this category. It’s defeatist because the person ends up with these words echoing in their heart: "try harder, do better". Normally, those words are inspiring, buttony times, we end up falling further into "failure" because we never changed. The only thing that’s changed is our amount of guilt & condemnation - it grows.

When self-condemnation rears it's ugly head, our immediate response is to propr ourselves up with "sayings of self-esteem", or to turn towards others who may offer us praise. These are crutches - the truth is, we aren't good enough.

But what does the bible say about what Jesus asks from us? Be joyful always, count trials as blessings, love your enemies, and put the needs of others above our own.

The unfortunate truth is... you can't. We truly aren't good enough. It seems counter-intuitive to battle against the "not good enoughs" by simply agreeing that we're truly aren't good enough. But this is the first step towards lasting joy. To find joy, we need help, instead of half-hearted proclamations & vows of self-effort. We must learn how to look at our insufficiencies, and then add two words on the end of them: But God

We are dead in our sin, but God has made us spiritually alive.

As disciples, we are called to keep God's commandments, which we fail to fulfill. But God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us. We now have all the help we need, and can call upon that help.

Alone, we are not good enough, but Jesus not only makes us good enough, but justified & righteous before God.

There are things that we will not be good at, but God has created & called us to joyfully serve Him in specific ways

We are at peace when we rest in God's work, instead of our parsing, evaluating, and self-defending of our own abilities. What comfort to know that God has made a way for not only our salvation, but for our everyday lives. And we truly to reap peace & joy when we "but God" to our "not good enough".

Lean upon God, and let Him help you to release yourself from the fear born from condemnation. Choose to turn away from everything I am not to everything I am, all because of the "but God" of grace.