I have been in a bad place for the past couple of months - the lack of recent blog entries prove this obvious. I have been trying to deal with, or let go of, some things that I just can't get past. Therapy, prayer, ... i feel stuck. My entire life, I have struggled with 'letting go', but it's with the help of therapy where I am beginning to see things a bit more clearly (not crystal clear but clearer).

I've learned in my walk with God that 'things happen for a reason' - struggles, traffic, mistakes, ... God puts these things in our lives to protect us, teach us, or both. God has me in my current situation so I can draw closer to Him. I know this, but I'm having a hard time with it. (Sorry, Lord)

And I know what my therapist reminds me every time we've talked (recently):

I know that God knows what I need to do, I know that He won't lead me astray or towards hurt, and that He will give me the strength\courage\whatever to do what He's asked... And yet, I balk. I find it impossible to take that first step.

I struggle with 'letting it go'. I can't get past the hurt or the pain of situations... people... In my black & white world, it's as if I want a therapeutic sit-down with these people, and just hash it out like calm, mature adults (two things I am not...) But this world is in the hand of the devil, so this will probably never happen. Even amongst disciples, there will be struggles.

Altho I know the overall answer, I still ask myself, "Exactly how do you fix this, God?!?!" And if you're like me, therein lies the problem - we aren't supposed to know how God will accomplish this. All he's asked is that we surrender our will to His, and trust that He will show us the way out of our current mess.

It's this type of trust that moved Abraham to give up what was most precious to Him.

How often do we say "No" to God simply because He won't "tell" us why or How He'll get it done? It's obvious to say that when we do this, we're blocking His blessings for us. But saying "yes" to Him, heaven opens up and pours out God's goodness & reward for our obedience. Gifts from God are always awesome, but let's remember what matters more than "material blessings" are the things that He is teaching us in our spirit - It's these blessings that strengthen our faith and keeps us close to Him.

Let's also remember that God is not like a parent, who withholds the treat until the child does as they're told. Instead, obeying Him puts us in a position to receive what He is already trying to give us and accomplish in our lives.

So when we say "no", when we fail to trust Him by choosing refuse to do what he says, we are the ones choosing to close ourselves off from those good things.

What has God asked you to do? Have you only partially cooperated? Or have you, like Abraham, given up your need to understand and then obeyed completely?

If the Lord says to give more than you think you’re able to give, know that He will provide. Whether things are running smoothly or the bottom has dropped out, He is always trustworthy. You can count on almighty God to keep His everlasting Word.