As disciples, if our survival depends on following God, but we only abide to him when we need Him, then we're not going to do so hot. What we need is a deep, keen awareness of our dependence on Him for everything. We must pray to God to help us cling upon Him in all matters.

Here's a great question: When God answers that prayer, what does our newly increased dependence upon Him feel like? I ask because, from what we may be used to throughout our lives, it's always felt like weakness and self-helplessness. Maybe it's because we've never truly ever had a strong dependence upon God? (or, it's been a while)

Dependence never feels like self-sufficient strength, just like eating nothing but potato chips gives you energy. But with an increased dependence upon God, we want to abide to Him more. Just like the vine mentioned in the previous post [John 15:5], the healthiest vine feels its own powerlessness & fears death that a separation would bring.

If we understand the godly definition of dependence, then we will understand what Paul meant:

Paul had struggles because God used them to push Paul to depend on Him instead of himself. And in that, Paul learned to be grateful for them.

Think about it - Sports, food, comfort, possessions, even relationships or our health - will not draw us closer to God. God will prune off the fruitless things in our lives to increase our dependency upon Him. And in the beginning, it may not feel like great mercies, but they are. Because the difference between a vine-branch that abides by the Vine and grows strong & fruitful, and a branch that doesn't, is the degree to which a branch knows (believes & feels) that it can't do anything apart from the Vine.

	I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.
	John 15:5

In the end, we only abide to things that we believe will give us life. But does that even include God? Are we wanting to be connected to the vine of comfort? selfishness? "The now"? Or God? He truly is the only vine that offers us, not only true happiness & growth within ourselves, but also life - a real life. So abiding in God is truly a matter of life & death.

If you don't feel as if you're "fully dependent" in God, pray to Him to help you get there - and He will. Think about it - He's doing these things to get us to rely on Him more! How can He not help?!? Ask for the help, but let it come in His Way, and not in how you would think...