I'm going to be real. There is someone in my church where we are good friends, but I also find them difficult at times to deal with.

I know that they are God's gift, that they are my sibling and also my friend. And we've been through quite a bit together, and we've seemed to have remained friends through it all. Plenty of time where we have encouraged each other, and getting through the difficult times has strengthened our friendship.

But too often, I just have a hard time dealing with their personality.

Don't get me wrong - when they're good, they're great! But when they're not, it's.. prickly. Now I understand that this can be said about anyone, especially myself... but I have to tell you - sometimes, I struggle with them.

I don't want to say too much to describe them because I don't want to hint as to who they are - They have a strong personality, but also a strong, protective sense of pride. They have no problem taking point, but in times when things needed to be real, walls go up. I've noticed that in the past, when I've done something to 'offend' them, it needs to be addressed at the moment because the division can grow. But my problem is that when they've done something that offends me, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal with them. It's grown to a point where, it's just easier to avoid that conversation because it just gets ugly - Statements are taken way out of context, feelings are easily hurt, logic seems to get thrown out the window... It just comes to a point where you think, "Do I really want to jump through all of these hoops, just to resolve <this>?!?"

So I begin to gently distance myself with them. I feel like I need to because if I don't, I will do or say something that I will regret. Better to avoid the storm than drive into it head-first.

No.

This person is observant, and picks up on the change almost instantly, and then proceeds to jokingly ridicule me for it.

I vented to my actual brother about them recently, and he said something pretty inquisitive.

"You seem to have problems with people with similar personalities to yours"

Boom.

ouch.

So... ok. I've been focusing on what they need to do to improve situation, when I should've been focusing on what I needed to do. If there's one thing that i've learned, it's that I can't control anyone except myself. I have to love these people, even if there are parts of them that I'm not too fond of, and not just like them - Jesus commanded me to do so.

And also as important, it doesn't matter if they do or do not return that love. There is no stipulation where I can get out from this command. And I know that I need to confess my thoughts & feelings about these people, and begin to truly love them - I have to ask God for help.

With the passing of Thanksgiving, I remember thanking God for the struggles that He's placed in my life. Not for the frustration or to be sarcastic, but to honestly appreciate what he was trying to teach me about myself thru those trials. I'm not hurt or missing a limb - I am happier & stronger now than before, so how is this not a good thing?

These people have great qualities (just like I have). But they also have some frustrating ones as well (just like I have). We are here to help one another - Where I am weak, they are strong, and vice-versa.

In the end, I spoke with this person, and we hashed out our differences yet again. It was a lively discussion, but in the end, it showed a lot of confusion and self-interpretation, which simply ignited the pettiness and drama (on both parts). In the end, the friendship is stronger, and God is good.