Just like anyone else in pain, people who self-harm may simply need someone to listen to what they’re experiencing. What we all need is unconditional love - grace & love that’s simply there, without judgement. How often have we spoken someone in our time of great need, and find how freeing it was to simply vent. What you need to remember is that, you don’t have to know anything, or solve anything… you just simply need to be compassionately "there" for someone - from a tough relationship, to self-harm.

The problem is, self-harm can be unchartered territory for some. And people who self-harm know this. They may be scared to ask for help, or even resist it. They need an ambassador of Christ to help them see God’s love again. And you may need to rely upon Him as well, because this type of situation may require calmness.

We are familiar with guilt, or bad moments in parenting, infidelity, impurity… When someone seeks our counsel, these subjects aren’t so difficult to listen to. But since self-harm is not as common as these other topics are, we need to remember a few things:

Imagine something for me pls - think about what you seriously struggle with… that "thing" that makes up most of the cross that you carry. That topic where, all it has to do is "wink" at you, and you easily fall into sin. Now, imagine that you can’t talk about it, not because you don’t want to, but because the people you go to for help, have a hard time hearing it. And when you do get a chance to talk about it with a friend, you can feel their discomfort or judgment… As God’s ambassadors, that’s what we all need to be mindful of, regardless of the topic.

The best thing that we can do is simply listen calmly. Be available when someone who self-harms is ready to talk. And, at opportune moments, gently ask questions like:

What also doesn’t hurt are compassionate statements that communicate your concern, like:

To be honest, how you approach someone who self-harms is not so different when you approach someone with a different struggle. What’s important is your heart & presence during the matter. And just remember that, as difficult as the topic of "self-harm" may be for you, try to imagine what it’s like for someone who struggles with it, and how limited their "counsel" may be, because of the subject matter.Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

In the end, the real hope for all of us, imperfect, selfish children of God who may or may not self-harm, is Jesus. He bled on the cross and died for our sins. He rose from the dead to forgive us of our sins, and welcome us into God’s Kingdom. And not just for when we die, but for today.

But as imperfect, we often seek comfort our own scars, rather than Jesus’ scars. People who harm may be trying to convert their emotional pain into physical pain that will heal rather than bringing their pain to Jesus, looking to Him for comfort, help & healing. But pls remember that we are all guilty of this.

We all need to learn how to engage in an authentic, living connection with Jesus, trusting Him in our hearts, experiencing His unconditional love & healing mercy, and rely on His power for living a life of love for God, others & self. But, learning to trust Jesus in this way requires a level of honesty in God that we may not be familiar with - We need to break free from our comfort zone in which we live in, and sincerely talk to, pray to, and develop a stronger relationship, not only with God, but also with our christian family.