Truth and Grace 2016.10.03

I had a conversation with a sister over the weekend, someone who knows me fairly well, who knows about my struggles, my exes, my therapy, along with my successes & happiness with God. She's a loving sister who truly cares but has a tendency to be very blunt with some things and wraps that within humor (sounds SOOOO familiar!) She has shared her own struggles and what she's currently working on frequently. So... in our conversation, I was talking about how everyone has "emotional baggage" and she lovingly says "and you come with a lot of baggage" and gives off a slight chuckle. And that made me stop for a second and wonder if this was a subconscious stab.

Now, anyone that knows me, or has known me, sarcasm is one of my strongest weapons. And if we were friends, then my comments shouldn't have offended you (my selfish thinking). I am a funny person, but it's strongly because my humor is not "healthy". My sense of humor is more "breakfast club" but also is an indicator of where I am - I'm hurt inside.

I have been trying to find inner happiness, and have been getting there thru a lot of help -> God. In the beginning of my walk w\God, when scripture's effect wouldn't latch on because of my hardened or selfish heart, He brought more help, in the form of therapy (and I love Him for it!). What energy, emotion & time I used to spend on the negative fallout of what my insecurities brought, I gave that energy, emotion & time back to God because I am truly grateful. One of my current goals is to truly love people - love them on a level that shows them healthy but true "favoritism", that protects them but also primarily draws them closer to God (see a previous post about that).

So i've been replaying that sister's comment in my head all weekend... What was said, how it was said, the truth to it, that chuckle... I think that I've had a hard time letting this go because I've been trying to upbuild people but this doesn't seem upbuilding. I know that truly loving people is a new thing for me, so is that why I can't seem seem to take this for what it is? or isn't? This is my goal, and may not be hers just yet. Am I being over-sensitive? Even self righteous?

Ephesians 2:1-3 Made Alive in Christ
1 As for you, you were dead in your and transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time,gratifying the cravings of our flesh[a] and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.

We are all broken & unhealthy. When she made her comment, I could've brought up her struggles that she had shared in the past & pointed the finger back at her... I could've tried to lovingly correct her... I could've been offended... But I chose to not make much of it because sometimes, people just need grace. And if I am trying to truly live by God's Word, then my actions will serve as "truth". But I need to exercise the muscles that exert grace because I am flabby in that area.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5
3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

God loves us and we don't deserve it. He continues to look past all of my transgressions (and sarcasm) and I feel compelled to do the same if I am to truly love people. He has brought me to this point in my life, where I am able to willingly try to love people, and in time, I will learn to how show grace more easily, and with a smile...