Just like the movies, there are times where I can literally bounce out of bed, with a huge smile and perfect hair, ready to love the world. But then there are times when I don't even want to get up because I just don't have it in me to face the world. Somedays, I wake up feeling "fragile". (sad, but there - I said it!) It's all vague 0 no single threat. I just wake up feeling like something's going to go wrong... something will go wrong and I will be responsible. Usually, this happens when i'm flooded with expectations that have deadlines, maybe they're too big or too many.

And even when I wake up this way, even when I rely more upon myself than Him, i'm amazed (and humbled) at how God has continued to take care of my walk with Him, my son & myself. I can say that ever since I've gotten "right" with God, the temptation to run away from the stress has always been something that I could dismiss\avoid. God is truly amazing. And that's why I continue to worship Him for it.

What I love is God's "I will" and "I shall". What He says, He means. He is nothing like me where my word is fairly reliable. When I'm sweating to deal with the ex-wife, or the fear of layoff, He's there at the request of a prayer, and has a concrete promise for me.

Today is a perfect example. My son text me last night that he had left his homework at my house (when he was there 3 days ago), and that it's due today. I wasn't home but I told him that i'd check when I did get home. He was freaking out because it may be lost, and if I found it, it would be late. I told him that I'm supposed to come get him in 2 days, but because weather storm, I can come down tomorrow, not only to get him but to also get his homework to his teacher. I just need his mother's ok. The problem is, I've been trying to reach his mother all day & she's been "ignoring" my attempts.

So I get a frantic phonecall from his mother today, at 6:30am, freaking out because my son's freaking out that his homework's lost, telling her that it's her fault. I calmly tell her that it is her fault (i know), and begin to tell her about my plan to fix all of this. Of course, i'm annoyed because, as always, this is "last minute" - her M.O.

She decides to hang up & ignore my repeated attempts to call her back. Even speaking with my son, she still doesn't want to talk. I reassure him that I have his homework and that i'll drop it off this morning.

As i'm driving to his school (45min away), I'm praying to God for calm because I am livid. I'm asking for peace because I feel like I'm the disciple, the one whose in therapy, and yet I'm having to deal with his mother's behavior.

These are the times where I won't give up, but I am getting tired of "dealing" with my son's mother's lack of action. (I'm aware that there are a lot of "I" statements...) I pray to God, not knowing what to say, not only asking for what I need, but for the needs of my son, and He responds.

The prophet Zechariah shares what was told to him by an angel:

In situations like this, I am overwhelmed and God protects me with a wall of fire. I do not need physical defenses or emotional walls because God is the only protection that I'll need... and unlike anything man-made, his protection will never fail. And it's not just protection, but the prosperity that He brings.

And yet walls are necessary! Fenced dogs protect the people around it, walls keep out the enemies. Villages are fragile, weak, vulnerable... prosperity is nice, but what about protection?

But look at the "I" statements in the passage - "I myself will be a wall of fire..." and "I will be it's glory within". His "promise" is a certain, undeniable fact. If it's true for the vulnerable villages of Jerusalem, then it's true for me as well. He has been a wall of fire, is my wall of fire, and will continue to be my wall of fire.

And in the middle of that fire, we stand, not only protected, but prospering! God is never content in giving us protection, but the pleasure of His presence.

This should encourage you for days. (well, forever, but calculate in our imperfections, and "days" will do). Take this with you when you deal with your "ex-wife"... When you feel vulnerable and exposed... When you're carrying your cross and you feel alone. God is always with you, not just protecting you but wanting to spend time with you.

When these time happen (and they will continue to happen), cry out to Him. Then ransack your Bible for his "I" statements. We are fragile, but He is not.