#WalkingAway 2014.05.24

I've reached a point where I have been contemplating about packing it all in... shutting the proverbial doors and just walk away. I have to be honest - I haven't felt like this in a very long time. A very long time.


If we're honest with ourselves, everyone who has been involved in their church for a while, has felt that way for one reason or another. Maybe it's because we don't feel like we're making any progress, or not making a difference. Or, maybe it's because there are just those people we can't seem to please. Maybe we don't feel respected,, or we are simply burnt out.

(Right now, this sounds like garbage at this juncture in my life, but I have to believe it, as difficult as it may seem)
Whatever the reason, you are not alone.

I have been a disciple for 8yrs and I have seen the good & the bad through it all. I have seen frustration (and had my fair-share in creating it), but also have seen some of the most beautiful things during that time. I have spent a good portion of my walk, unable to imagine life without my church, but i've also gone thru days where I didn't know how to give these people another day.

But what exactly can you do when you are low, and on the verge of walking?

1 Pray
This is obvious. But I don't mean pray whilst you're driving, or like right before you eat... If you are honestly considering walking away from what you believe God has called you to do, then you need to spend some serious "knee time", seeking His advice. If you have seen "the good" from God during your walk, if you believe that He has a Plan for all of us, then He must have foreseen the trials along our way. Pray to vent, for strength, endurance, comfort, and guidance... But pray for His name to be glorified whatever the outcome.

2 Remember
Things that "rattle" us will always happen. When was the last time something happened that left us doubting our salvation or ourselves? Years of growth and God's visible activity in our lives, and we're left, crying & wondering why we're here... These are the times when we have to take a serious moment, and remember how God has used you, and how He has worked in you. A moment of doubt cannot change that.

What has God changed in you throughout your walk? This isn't to "determine" if you are a "christian" or not... but a remembrance of everything God has done in & through you.

3 Nothing Else To Do
I was talking to my discipling partner recently, talking about recent interactions and it was apparent that I was angry. I needed to vent and I did. I kept talking in "you" plural but had to stop to apologize because I didn't want him to think that I was talking to him directly. He understood and just listened. And when I gave him time to talk, he simply understood that I am hurt and that I am forgiven.

I spent the rest of the day, thinking about what I was going to do. Walk away or stay? It's not God that i'm angry with... My life revolves around the church, and without it, there is a huge hole in my life. And while I'm sure that one can find things to do to fill up one's life, I struggle with realizing that there may be nothing more fulfilling that living for God. God put something on our hearts that made us want something that this world couldn't give.

4 Take A Step Back
Sometimes you need to regroup. I know that in my anger, I won't care about hurting someone who may simply want to help. "Fake friends" who've had a small role in my pain... It'd be so easy to "rebuke them" but my anger wouldn't care how it was done so... I need to be alone while I process. People talk about how "you need friends" and "the one place you need to be at, is church"... but it's a boilerplate response. And when we are hurting, we can do even more damage than if we simply took a step back to breathe, and calm down.

5 When You're Ready...
This requires a much calmer head, and sincere heart because it's easy to "settle in" that "irreversible damage has been done". When it comes to God's church, this is not true (even if your grief comes from people within this church).

But the one thing you have to understand is, don't do this alone. First, take it to God. have that "beyond real" talk with Him. You know that He's there. You know that He has always watched your back. He knows what you are going through, and He alone is the one who can do something about your predicament. You then need to take it to your discipling partner & your wise counsel. Take in everything that you hear, and use it towards some self-evaluation. God does need us broken, so He can rebuild us in a stronger image.

But for some, I hate to say, they choose to respond with "I simply can't go on anymore." A Walk with God is a personal thing. If one's heart's truly not into it, then our walk with God will truly fail.

I guess all I can say is, God has used you in the past, and it wasn't by accident. Don’t walk away from something when God isn’t finished using you. Don’t miss out on those blessings.