The life of a disciple is not meant to be a solo venture - it requires teamwork. And God has given us an incredible resource in our brothers & sisters in Christ. We desperately need each other so that when we want to quit, we can't because our friends wont let us. Lasting change requires biblical friendship.

Notice how I said biblical friendship? It's because not all friendships are biblical. In fact, some are very unbiblical. They not only don't help us, they impede our progress to spiritual change. People who are growing & becoming mature followers of Christ are surrounded by biblical friendships. And without those type of friendships, Christians cannot flourish spiritually.

I'm stuck on topics like this because I am in a rut. I've been here for 6wks now. I question the friendships that I thought I had... friendships that I gave incredible respect to. To be honest, I feel alone. I know that I'm not alone (God is always with me... I have been talking to other friends about my current struggles... ) but I just feel abandoned. And i'm tired. I'm tired of being real or vulnerable with people because I don't feel as if it's reciprocated. I feel as if I try to handle situations with "healthy methods" but I get psycho-laden, insecure reactions - I feel that when I try to resolve matters, I gets walls and issues and deflection. And i'm sorry, but im tired. I am transparently thin and can't believe that "my friends" would react in this way.

It's gotten to the point where I was angry at them for this. I even thought about leaving my church because of the lack of "realness"... the clicks... the pettiness... the lack of God in all of us. I'm tapped out - I've had to deal with a close dear friend whose friendship ended a year ago due to "unknown circumstances" (they gave a reason but it never made sense... it was as if we never covered the "real topic" to the problem). I've had to deal with a close friend where we just end up arguing often, and dealing with them during an argument is more work than expected because they take offense to a lot, and i have to calm them down because of the topic, before we can address what they did that offended me. These struggles are bearable for some reason... They are good friends but I could not take this "personally".

And then the hammer drops, and a person I truly respected and cared about, stopped talking to me. Pretty much started avoiding me. And it was the 4wks of "no, there's nothing wrong" (despite the obvious), and the 1.5wks of waiting for them to tell me what was truly wrong, after they finally said that "we need to talk" but never did.

I'm tapped out because I don't feel important. I don't feel worthy of realness, or the truth. I'm stuck on the notion that I'm worthy of messed up friendships, the lack of truth, and deception. And I don't like this one bit.

I have read how people can be temporary.

That God brings people in to teach us things about ourselves.

And that He removes people because they get in the way of where He wants us to go.

That the only friendship you can count on, through thick & thin, is God's.

And I accept this, but I don't like it. I have developed these friendships, invested time, effort & heart into them, only to watch them dissolve because they were based on something else. Friends should be real with one another - and yet, I dont see that with these people. And I'm hurt by it. I know that I am not alone... that I have been talking to, and encouraged by true-er friends, but I am having a hard time with this "loss". Did I put too much into friendships that should not have been taken to that level in the first place?

I think that it's safe to say that we all want true friendships that last. But how do we find\develop them? Better question may also be, what do we do when they don't turn out this way?

I want to believe that God is not the only person we can have a true friendship with... As imperfect as we all are, that we can still have incredible friendships with people here on Earth. I mean, I have met people who have shared that they married their best friend... I've grown to become a person who can believe that happening, and want that for my own self..

Sarah was imperfect, but Hebrews 11:11 raves about her faith. She stuck with her husband through thick & thin. And without her loving support, Abraham would have had a much harder time following God's call.

Moses would not have been the person he was, without his brother, Aaron, who spoke for him & his father-in-law, Jethro, who provided counsel that helped Moses save his sanity. Even his sister, Miriam, stood with him when the Israelites rebelled.

The list could go on and on. Ruth and Naomi loyally served each other. Alone in the seductive world of palace life, Queen Esther stood firm in her faith because of her cousin Mordecai, a solid friend to her. David and Jonathan became soul brothers. Elijah and Elisha, two prophets under attack, stuck together.

But there are also examples of "friendship disasters" that happened in the Bible. There are wonderful examples of when people have wrong friends, or nor friends. Adam & Eve should've challenged each other - "What are you thinking?!?! Don't bite that! Put that down!" God had sent Samuel to teach King Saul how to lead well, but the king refused to listen.

Just like all of the examples in the Bible, we have abilities, potential & desire for God. And although God is great, and very much needed in our lives, we need biblical, truth-telling friends - IF we don't have that, our lives will flop.

What does it mean when we want relationships like David & Jonathon but we don't have it? I have spent a good portion of my life thinking that people are disposable... That the only person I can trust is myself. But that is not true... God is there, but also, true friendships as well. And how God will use these friendships to help you grow. I read somewhere, "change flourishes when it's a partnership".

I don't want to sound wrong, or as if I have a lack of faith, but it seems easier to go where God wants you to go when you have a true friend who's on the same journey.

Despite what we may think at times, we are not alone. God is always with us, but He also has others in our lives at all times. And we need to thank Him because He does not want us to be alone. Pray in gratitude for what you have now, but also for biblical friendships - People who can hold you up when you stumble or stray. Pray in how you can intentionally cultivate such friendships. Pray in being a true, biblical friend. What does your friend need in this juncture in their life?